Hurt People Hurt People

Hurt people hurt people.

If you don't heal yourself, you'll send someone to therapy.

How many times have we been hurting our loved ones with our words?

As Moslem Proverb said, "Your tongue is sharper than sword."

If it hurts many, many people then there must be something wrong with you.

Most of the times, it could be related to past trauma. Unresolved business with your loved ones or authority figures in the past.

As we grow older, we become authority figure for others. At home, at school, at work; for your children, your friends, your co-workers. If we are misleading our authority with power abuse, in the end no-one will trust you. As more and more people don't feel comfortable being around you, you'll be left alone in the end.

In the world of mature and grown-up people, punishments will no longer work. Cancel culture will.

Once people feel oppressed or betrayed by your leadership, more people will feel mistrust that lead to insecurity. When their opinions are no longer be heard or respected, they will silently leave. One major, painful silence. Not for punishment, but for their own dignity. 

Sometimes, these people who are being hurt by you will stay silent and not protesting. They keep on smiling, keep living their lives, keep being kind to others. Often times, the one who felt hurt the most, would be the kindest person you'd ever meet. Not because they're strong, but because they don't want you to feel the same way that they do. They'll make sure their words and acts are aligned, and are not painful for others to receive. They'll make sure their presence won't be the reason someone get hurt, even worse destroying someone else's self-esteem.

In most relationship cases, people who go to mental health therapy are the ones who got hurt by their significant others or close-knit relatives. They go to therapy not because they are weak, it is that they are tired of pretending being strong. They go to therapy to heal themselves so they don't eat you alive. Whether it is with your spouse, parents, friends, or other significant figures in your life. When communications come to deadlock, you need mediator. Someone who is objective and free from bias. It's not always worked out, but at least you give it a try. 

In the world full of stressors and distress, it is important to stay sane. You are the one who can control your act. Your outer circle is beyond your control. It is unfair to hurt others just because you feel hurt. Grown-up people are responsible for their own actions. Blaming others is not even an option. Take full responsibility for your action is the only thing that matters. Heal yourself first so that you don't hurt others in the end. Now something to reflect is; how many people have you sent to therapy just because you refuse to change? Is your own ego more important than someone's dignity?